I just need to rant a bit about a position I'm in. TW: SA

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I just need to rant a bit about a position I'm in. TW: SA Empty I just need to rant a bit about a position I'm in. TW: SA

Post by LightningNut Sat May 20, 2023 4:09 am

Hi everyone, I haven't posted much around here so I hope off-topic is the right place for this. I was put into a very odd position at a live gig last night and have been shaken up since. Thinking about it so much, I remembered this clan and thought some mature eyes to assess this with me is just what I need.

So the main deal is at some point during a night out seeing a band with some friends and my gf, some woman, unknown to me, had something happen to her and became convinced that I was guilty of (for fear of forum guidelines lets say) touching her inappropriately.

Now this woman is with a group of friends which id been bumping into in the mosh pit, and she confided in them that I was some POS that was a danger to be around. I however had no idea any of this was happening until I hung outside after the last set, at which point the woman's two guy friends approach and start to staunch me.
They went about it very weirdly and I couldn't make heads or tails of what they were saying, but through context of some of the things they said, and another girl who started screaming in my face that I'm a predator and telling all of my friends I'm a predator and not to be around me.

Knowing I did nothing wrong I did my best to, for starters, figure out what the hell I was even being accused of. Following that I wanted to continue enjoying my night out, and also, while resentful about the false accusation, try to quell the drama and ensure the woman in distress is as alright as I can influence.

And now here's the conflicting bit, outside of maybe one unknown character, I don't think anybody did anything wrong in this situation. The girl and her friends are absolutely understandable, and I know I would be in their place if the shoe was flipped. Yet while this person may well have been the victim of assault, how the blame came on me I don't know. The result of that blame has hurt me, and it feels like I too was assaulted unjustly, only it was my character being attacked and not my body. I can't blame anyone, I can't understand why I've been blamed, but I am upset and feel gross even simply being accused of something I know I wouldn't do. I'm angry at these people for doing this to me, yet I believe if it were anyone but me in question, I would take the woman's side too.

I don't know how to release this simmering upset within me as I don't know how to process what happened.
Thanks for listening to my rant. I do hope I've stuck within the forums guidelines but any amendments or removal if I failed are welcome.
I just wanted to write this out I guess, so that is good enough for me.
LightningNut
LightningNut

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Post by Karl / MKY Sat May 20, 2023 4:27 am

Unsure if you're looking for a reply, but I'll chuck my 2 cents in.

Firstly, I know what it's like to have your character attacked, knowing you've done nothing wrong, and I know it can be gut-wrenching, so really sorry this has happened. The way I found I got through it is you have to know you conscience is clean, and take that your friends and GF know this as well.

While I don't know the ins and outs of the detail, seeing as it was a mosh-pit, we can probably assume 1 of 2 things happened:
1 - You or someone else has bashed/brushed against this woman, along with any other number people involved in the pit, and she's taken it in the wrong way (which sort of implies she has no-idea what it is, OR just wanted to stir something up if she does know what a mosh pit is)
2 - She had been assaulted in one form or another, but in a pit, this could be a case of mistaken identity
Either way, there was nothing guilty on your part, so I wouldn't dwell on it. As I said, move on knowing your conscience is clean, and your circle knows you wouldn't do anything like that.

Hope this helps a little, if not, I don't mind having it flagged for deletion.
Karl
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Post by LightningNut Sat May 20, 2023 5:36 am

Thanks Karl, that does help.
LightningNut
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